I have Learnt

I used to think being a mother was easy. of course, I didn't have children at that point. And while parts of it are easy (like when they're sleeping), a lot of it is pretty tough.
So, what I now know about being a mother:

• People will judge you, know matter what you do. 
• Society expects you to forget who you are as soon as you have children. All of your time and effort is meant to go to them.
• You never hear "how are you?" first. It's always "How are they doing?"
• I must have broken my mother's heart a thousand times.
• Kids are just little balls of mess in a cute outer shell. It's ridiculous.
• Never change the nappy when you first get whiff of the smell. There's more coming.
• Toilet/bath/showers will be shared with little people from now on in.
• Kids can do adult sounding farts. Usually done in the middle of shopping centres and other opportune places to embarrass Mummy.
• We are expected to make it look easy.
• The quickest way to get a toddler to eat something is to tell them bed is the alternative.
• disney movies off by heart.
• To never assume that when the toilet training toddler tells you he needs to do a poo, that he actually needs to do a wee and tell him he can just go outside... Unless you want to have to clean the deck.

What have you learnt?

Surviving Motherhood - How I've done it

Sometimes I wonder how I've survived this far with (most) of my sanity in tact.
so here's how I've done it:

• Take advantage of younger siblings who think they want children. Give them yours. (not forever). Babysitter for you and serious birth control for them - Win/win!

• Cook more than you need. So then, when you're too lazy to cook something, you can pass it off as being organised when you pull a meal out of the freezer with "here's one I prepared earlier."

• Spending lots of time at friends houses so mine doesn't get messed up. To pull this one off, you need to bring along baked goods. Trust me, it's worth it. Especially if said friend has a backyard the kids can play in, while yours is constantly damp and full of leeches. (thanks Belinda!)

• Coffee. Lots and lots of coffee. Or so I'm told. I don't drink coffee. But I do eat copious amounts of chocolate and jelly beans. I figure I'll just use the sugar instead of the caffeine.

• Playgroups - you can hand your feral child off for a couple of hours while you sit and watch someone else read them the same book for the hundredth time. This usually comes at the small cost of a piece of fruit - well worth it.

• Hats. Bad hair day instantly gone. Need I say more?

• Bribery. Don't looked shocked. Who doesn't do it? Luckily, my toddler gets really excited about the prospect of a roll from Baker's Delight, so I'm pretty safe for now. AND if he does get distracted while I do my lolly isle run, I can usually placate him with a box of tictacs. At home, it's bribery with frozen peas and corn. Cuz someone was VERY clever when they made those veggies look like little lollies.

• Sex. Whenever I can get it. Why? Because I enjoy it. Because it makes me feel human. Because it says that there's more to life than singing the same song over and over again, or changing a poosplosion. Yes. Even when I'm really, really tired and the kids and sick and it feels like my eyelids are sandpapering my eyeballs. I'll sleep when the kids nap tomorrow.

• Lying. No honey, there's no sushi. No, those are Grandad's donuts, he'll get cranky. No, the chocolate must be stuck in the machine. Yes, that is a biscuit. Yes that's chocolate. (really an olive).

But in all seriousness. My family - especially my little sisters pretty much jump at the chance to look after their nephew and niece. My friends who I can talk about anything to and who also know when nothing needs to be said.

And the biggest thing that has kept me sane?

Knowing I get to spend every day with him =]

Bad Mumma If...?

A lot of the time I'd rather spend more time with Dexter than with Lola.
Does that make me a bad mother?

It's not that I don't love her. Her little smiles melt my heart. I could spend hours trying to make her smile... If I didn't have another child.

It's just that Dex is so independent. This morning he said "Mummy go now." to me at daycare. I'm being dismissed by a child who's not even two.
If he's doing this, how much longer do I have to spend with him?
How much longer will he be asking to hold my hand? Or for cuddles? Or give me those weird kisses where he grabs hold of my ears and mooshes his whole face against mine?
For how much longer will he ask me to help with his yogurt? Or want to sit with me while we cook?

It's tough really. Either way, I may miss out on something. But for right now, Lola is content sitting with her Daddy. And I'm content spending time with Dex before he decides daddies are way cooler because they mow lawns and chop wood and all that other loud stuff. Is it wrong that I want to keep him to myself just a little bit longer if I can?

My life of late

Because I am narcissistic naive enough to think people I don't know care so much about my blog life that they have been wondering what I've been up to, I'll fill you all in.

I had a baby four weeks a go (but you knew that).

I got a staph infection two weeks a go. It's lovely. You should see it. ACTUALLY you should have seen it when I was at the hospital at 2am getting it lanced because it was oozing out my skin. Told you. LOVELY.

We (all of us) are moving in with my parents. And my two teenage sisters. Crazy us, hey? It's... full on, to say the least. I thought it would have been different to the way it is. I thought because everyone is older it would be a little more civil, but it's not. Girls fight, no matter the age.
Maddi (20) likes confrontation... She enjoys arguing. And she hates when I don't bite back. It's SO satisfying to win. (Take THAT! Maddison)
Michellie is a 16 year old girl... need i say more? Except because mum works ridiculous hours, she's not used to someone asking her to clean her room constantly until it gets done. Mum is just too tired. So now, here I am. Because if it doesn't get done, I get to hear Dad yell about it. And life is much more pleasant when Dad is happy. (He stalks around the house and snaps at people who look at him the wrong way).
I wonder if he'd try and ground me now if I pissed him off?

So anyway... I'm now cooking for six. Cooking healthier meals than they've had in ages, because usually they're all eating on the go with crazy schedules they're all keeping. I'm enjoying it, but it's a little annoying.
I asked them (family) if there was anything in particular they wanted to eat at the start of the week. No one said shit.
Then, tonight, I made a chicken pasta (minced chicken, fresh tomatoes, mushrooms, spring onion, white wine, sour cream, some herbs - delish!) and I asked Mum if Dad would eat it. She replied:
"I think he just wants a steak."
THEN FUCKING TELL ME YOU WANT A STEAK WHEN I ASK!!!


I'm not the best lately. I'm struggling.
I don't think I have post natal depression.
It's everything building up.
It's nothing to do with having two kids. I love both of them. Not wanting to shake them or anything.
I don't want them to go away so I can get some sleep, I want everything else to go away.
I want moving house to go away.
I want staph infection to go away.
I want blood pressure issues to go away.
I want money issues to go away.
I want it all to go away so I can get some sleep.

So my kids don't suffer.
So Pat doesn't suffer.
So I don't suffer!

Make Believe

Do you ever pretend you're not a mummy?
I've tried.
A couple of times. I was bad at it the first time, so I figured I'd try again.

I suck at it.
I can't comprehend how (or why) mother's can pretend they don't have a little person(s) at home that they love and are responsible for and who's lives they revolve around.
It doesn't seem natural.
I understand needing a break occasionally. God knows I do.
The last two weeks would have been hell if Pat wasn't here to help with both Dex and Dolores.

But would I ever pretend I don't have them? NO way.
They are what I was born to do.
I mean sure - there will be other things in my life as well, but nothing as important as them.
Why would I pretend they didn't exist?
Even just for a little bit?
It's like pretending you don't have a soul. Or are missing an arm. Painful and pointless.

If you want to pretend you don't have children, why did you have them in the first place?
I'm definitely not saying you should have your children in tow 24/7. That is just silly. You'd go insane.
Sometimes even going to the doctors is a welcome break here!
I won a $300 spa voucher and I'm planning on getting the 5 hour full treatment.
But will I pretend my kids don't exist? No way. They are the reason I deserve my treatment.


What do you think?
Do you pretend you don't have kids sometimes?

So, I was thinking...

I don't do it very often (think, that is) but when I do, it's usually something worthwhile thinking about.
I was thinking about a friend who has their grocery bill for 5 down to $100 a fortnight. It made me think "why can't I feed three of us on that? It just doesn't make sense." Then I looked at last night's meal. Three people ate it last night. Pat took lunch to work, which he'll probably bring half home because there was so much in the container. I've had some for lunch. And guess what? There's still a whole container of it left!

That's my problem. I'm convinced. I make meals that can feed at least 6, pretty much every day. So, is this a good thing, or a bad thing? I guess in a way it's good, because we have a continuous stock pile of leftovers in the freezer ready for nights Mummy just can't be bothered cooking.
It's also in a way bad. Why? Let me tell you the contents of my freezer atm (just meals) 3 serves Lasagne, 2 butter chicken and rice, 2 honey mustard chicken and rice, three lots of pesto ready to be added to pasta and a loaf of pumpkin bread. WHO NEEDS THAT MUCH FOOD?!?! I could almost start up some sort of lean cuisine franchise solely based on what's in my freezer.
If I don't buy anything next week, and just eat the leftovers in the freezer (And there will be more coming from the meals planned this week as well) does that mean I've actually fed my family on $70 for a fortnight? There's an extra $20 there because I went to the fruit shop and raided the seconds trolley - Tip from afformentioned friend with the $100 fortnight family.

I honestly didn't think when I started this that I'd have so much to think about. And it's only been a week! Already I've confronted how much wasteage I usually have when I cook food - Although I didn't record it for you guys. The three pesto's ready to go in the freezer? Usually, I'll make the one that I need, forget about the rest of the bunch and throw it out in a couple of days when it goes a bit manky. This time, I prepped it when I bought it. Same goes with Necterines. I got 2kg for $4.50 off the seconds stand. Some were bruised etc and usually, I'd just throw the whole thing out. This time, I chopped the bruised part off and pureed or cliced the rest up and froze it for adding to yogurt, smoothies and ice blocks.

It is really empowering to realise that I am literally throwing money away when I do that. It's shocking to see how much I was actually wasting. It's scary to think if I hadn't set myself this target, I'd still be doing those things, because it's easier.

In completey different (but sort of related) news, I'm utterly convinced my life would be easier if I had a dishwasher. I was constantly washing up yesterday, because I was running out of places to prep things! If I had a dishwasher, I could load it during the day instead of stacking on the sink, turn it on at night before bed and then pack it all away while waiting for the kettle to boil of a morning. Ahhhh, the luxury. A girl can dream, huh?

D-Day

So, here you have my receipts from today's shopping expedition. I failed.


You'll notice I've crossed off some items, because it's completely stupid to include these things in my $50 budget. if that $50 had to include toiletries and general household items, there will be weeks we can't afford even a bag of homebrand rice to live on. So, minusing those out, we have 69.21 - 9.57 = $59.64
You'll notice I've underlined the bacon as well. This is because I bought a kg pack. This week alone will not have 1kg worth of bacon eating in it. So I am going to quarter this $ to reflect what I'm actually going to use this week (I'm stretching to be inside the budget, I know).
Comes to $5.09 (the remaining 750g which brings the grand total down to....
$54.55!!!!

Which isn't bad for my first week.
But, has anyone noticed the major FAIL in my shopping?
There's hardly any fruit! Sure, we get the vegies we need (almost), but not our fruit.
Now what am I going to do?
(I'm going to go to the fruit store tomorrow and buy fruit, but I'm more referring to in the long run)
I'm not really a fan of buying tins of home brand fruit salad to reach the quota. However, when I buy fruit, it usually goes gross before it all gets eaten and there's the problem. How do I buy enough that we get what we need, but not so much as to damage the budget and be throwing food away.
And yes, I do keep it in Tupperware =p I just end up forgetting about it. hehe

How do you make sure your kids get the required 3 & 5? Do they even get it?