So, what I now know about being a mother:
- People will judge you, know matter what you do.
- Society expects you to forget who you are as soon as you have children. All of your time and effort is meant to go to them.
- You never hear "how are you?" first. It's always "How are they doing?"
- I must have broken my mother's heart a thousand times.
- Kids are just little balls of mess in a cute outer shell. It's ridiculous.
- Never change the nappy when you first get whiff of the smell. There's more coming.
- Toilet/bath/showers will be shared with little people from now on in.
- Kids can do adult sounding farts. Usually done in the middle of shopping centres and other opportune places to embarrass Mummy.
- We are expected to make it look easy.
- The quickest way to get a toddler to eat something is to tell them bed is the alternative.
- disney movies off by heart.
- To never assume that when the toilet training toddler tells you he needs to do a poo, that he actually needs to do a wee and tell him he can just go outside... Unless you want to have to clean the deck.
What have you learnt?