I have Learnt

I used to think being a mother was easy. of course, I didn't have children at that point. And while parts of it are easy (like when they're sleeping), a lot of it is pretty tough.
So, what I now know about being a mother:

• People will judge you, know matter what you do. 
• Society expects you to forget who you are as soon as you have children. All of your time and effort is meant to go to them.
• You never hear "how are you?" first. It's always "How are they doing?"
• I must have broken my mother's heart a thousand times.
• Kids are just little balls of mess in a cute outer shell. It's ridiculous.
• Never change the nappy when you first get whiff of the smell. There's more coming.
• Toilet/bath/showers will be shared with little people from now on in.
• Kids can do adult sounding farts. Usually done in the middle of shopping centres and other opportune places to embarrass Mummy.
• We are expected to make it look easy.
• The quickest way to get a toddler to eat something is to tell them bed is the alternative.
• disney movies off by heart.
• To never assume that when the toilet training toddler tells you he needs to do a poo, that he actually needs to do a wee and tell him he can just go outside... Unless you want to have to clean the deck.

What have you learnt?