About Me

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23 year old going on 50. I take my carry basket to the farmers markets every week and Avoid getting a tan at all costs. I also have lots of tattoos. Two beautiful children and a "Hubby". And an obsession with cooking - moving into a place that doesn't have an oven...

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Bad Mumma If...?

A lot of the time I'd rather spend more time with Dexter than with Lola.
Does that make me a bad mother?

It's not that I don't love her. Her little smiles melt my heart. I could spend hours trying to make her smile... If I didn't have another child.

It's just that Dex is so independent. This morning he said "Mummy go now." to me at daycare. I'm being dismissed by a child who's not even two.
If he's doing this, how much longer do I have to spend with him?
How much longer will he be asking to hold my hand? Or for cuddles? Or give me those weird kisses where he grabs hold of my ears and mooshes his whole face against mine?
For how much longer will he ask me to help with his yogurt? Or want to sit with me while we cook?

It's tough really. Either way, I may miss out on something. But for right now, Lola is content sitting with her Daddy. And I'm content spending time with Dex before he decides daddies are way cooler because they mow lawns and chop wood and all that other loud stuff. Is it wrong that I want to keep him to myself just a little bit longer if I can?

Insert Witty Title Here

Apparently that's one of the things I'm doing wrong.
My titles aren't catchy. Buuuuuuttttt... I'm just not that good at catchy titles.
you'll just have to deal with great content instead ;)

Because I love you guys so much, I'm going to give you TWO, yes you read right, not one, but TWO yummy recipes today. And they are both ridiculously easy.

So. Recipe One:

Chicken & Sundried tomato risotto
You need:
1 1/2 cups rice. (Probably best to use risotto rice, I didn't though)
Chicken. (We had half a bbq chook left over - stripped it and used that)
3/4 cup of sundried tom in oil, chopped into strips.
4 - 5 cups vege stock
1/2 block light cream cheese.
You do:
Chuck first 4 ingredients into the slow cooker on high (go for 4 cups of stock first). Check after two hours. If the rice is still crunchy, give it a little longer. Add extra stock if need be (I needed to).
When rice is satisfactory, stir in the half block of cream cheese - probably best to cut it into chunks for easier stirring.

This recipe is adapted from one I found here. It's a slow cooker recipe GOLDMINE

Recipe Two (dessert. Or snack. Or whenever really)
Jaffa Fudge
375g packet nestle melts
1 can sweetended condensed milk
Finely grated rind of one large fresh orange.

Melt the first two together in the microwave and stir so they are mixed well.
Stir in orange rind.
Pour into a lined slice tray and fridge for at least two hours before cutting.

(it's very sticky to try and cut - but soooooooooooooo good.)

The fudge was made this morning for some friends who graced me with their presence. And i just want to say I have the best friends in the world. They are so, SO wonderful. They are even brave enough to ask me if anything is wrong. To tell me they are worried about me because I haven't been around a lot lately. To stand up for me if people ask about me. I love them. And I'm lucky to have them.


Sunday, May 29, 2011

Weekly Thumbs

I figure instead of doing a boring summary of my week I'd give you all a thumbs up/thumbs down version.
Feel free to add your own in the comments.

Start with the bad, shall we?

  • doing everyone else's washing so that you end up getting stuck with no clean clothes and no sun to dry said clothes.
  • 6:30am similtaneous projectile spews from Lola and Dex waking up.
  • Dex knowing what he wants but not being able to communicate it properly yet.
  • Not having a laundry sink in which to rinse nappies. Options are bathroom sink or hose them down outside.
  • Not having an oven!
  • People complaining.
  • Dex has started saying love you. It is the cutest thing EVER
  • Pat doing ALL the washing. It's insane. I don't know how six people can make SO much washing!
  • Getting creative with cooking. Not having an oven has made me look into cooking lots more in the microwave and slow cooker - I even have a slow cooker Chocolate Pudding Cake recipe.
  • Mums. I love mine. I love being able to say good morning every morning.
  • Special bonds between Grandads and grandsons. Dex loves his Grandad and it's so special him being able to spend so much time with him.
  • Getting your inspiration back. I worried about how having kids might hold me back from what I want to be when I grow up. Now, I'm just going to use them as my muses.
  • Family nap time/cuddle time.
  • one on one time with Dex - especially cooking. He loves helping me cook (he sits in his high chair and I tell him the names of the things we're using and he parrots me) I hope it sets him up to enjoy cooking all his life - help him get the ladies (or the men, whatever he fancies).
  • Lola smiled!!!

What are your thumbs for the week?

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

22 months

Dear Dexter,
You are 22 months old today.
It amazes me how quickly you are growing. This last month has flown by and I feel like I have missed it. And missed you.
You are almost talking in full sentences now. You string three words together all the time.
Your favourite thing to say at the moment is Love you.
Love you cows. Love you grass. Love you mummy.
It melts my heart when you say that.
You also love Lola. You kiss her and cuddle her all the time. Sometimes too much. Like when you climb in the bassinet with her...
You are such a beautiful child. You have the most gorgeous laugh.
Everyone is captivated by your cheeky smile and your curls.

I hope you stop growing up so quickly. I just want to cuddle you forever.

Love Mummy

Sunday, May 22, 2011

My life of late

Because I am narcissistic naive enough to think people I don't know care so much about my blog life that they have been wondering what I've been up to, I'll fill you all in.

I had a baby four weeks a go (but you knew that).

I got a staph infection two weeks a go. It's lovely. You should see it. ACTUALLY you should have seen it when I was at the hospital at 2am getting it lanced because it was oozing out my skin. Told you. LOVELY.

We (all of us) are moving in with my parents. And my two teenage sisters. Crazy us, hey? It's... full on, to say the least. I thought it would have been different to the way it is. I thought because everyone is older it would be a little more civil, but it's not. Girls fight, no matter the age.
Maddi (20) likes confrontation... She enjoys arguing. And she hates when I don't bite back. It's SO satisfying to win. (Take THAT! Maddison)
Michellie is a 16 year old girl... need i say more? Except because mum works ridiculous hours, she's not used to someone asking her to clean her room constantly until it gets done. Mum is just too tired. So now, here I am. Because if it doesn't get done, I get to hear Dad yell about it. And life is much more pleasant when Dad is happy. (He stalks around the house and snaps at people who look at him the wrong way).
I wonder if he'd try and ground me now if I pissed him off?

So anyway... I'm now cooking for six. Cooking healthier meals than they've had in ages, because usually they're all eating on the go with crazy schedules they're all keeping. I'm enjoying it, but it's a little annoying.
I asked them (family) if there was anything in particular they wanted to eat at the start of the week. No one said shit.
Then, tonight, I made a chicken pasta (minced chicken, fresh tomatoes, mushrooms, spring onion, white wine, sour cream, some herbs - delish!) and I asked Mum if Dad would eat it. She replied:
"I think he just wants a steak."

I'm not the best lately. I'm struggling.
I don't think I have post natal depression.
It's everything building up.
It's nothing to do with having two kids. I love both of them. Not wanting to shake them or anything.
I don't want them to go away so I can get some sleep, I want everything else to go away.
I want moving house to go away.
I want staph infection to go away.
I want blood pressure issues to go away.
I want money issues to go away.
I want it all to go away so I can get some sleep.

So my kids don't suffer.
So Pat doesn't suffer.
So I don't suffer!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Dolores Rose

You are four weeks old today.
Four weeks that have flown by so fast.
Amongst moving house, having a staph infection and a toddler I feel like I might have put you second a little.
Not that you mind one bit. You are the happiest baby (although you do spew a lot).
I haven't taken anywhere near as many photos as I would have liked to.
It scares me I won't get the time back and I don't have any records of it. I promise I'll get the camera out. I'll capture you in all your newborn glory.
Especially with your big brother. He ADORES you. Every chance he is asking to kiss you or cuddle you or hold you.
He uses kissing you as a way to extend his bed time just that little longer (but it's so cute I let him).
You have started being more alert. You are awake for longer and you're recognising us.
You LOVE your Daddy. You stare at him for ages.

I can't wait to watch you grow. You're beautiful. You have completed our family.

Love Mummy.


Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Still here!

Sorry it's been a while for anyone who actually reads my blog regularly.
This is just a catch up post to promise you I AM still here.
Having a four week old (4 weeks tomorrow - it's insane) a toddler and moving back in with your parents is a pretty full on experience! Add to that learning how to cook for six people and have left overs...

I will sit down properly over the next couple of days and tell you all about it, but for now, just know I'm still here!


Friday, May 6, 2011

sometimes, I hate you.

I have a confession.
Right now, I feel like a terrible mother.
Which is better than how I felt this morning.
Right now, I'm sick. I have a staph infection - so I'm pretty run down. I have a newborn who loves feeding for two hours and then throwing it all up again, so she's hungry. But only does it at night. We also drove 2.5 hours home from Pat's dad's house, getting home at midnight.
It's still no excuse, but I thought I'd give you the background.
Miraculously, Dolores slept for a good 5 hour block last night, woke at 5:30am for a feed. Then Dex started SCREAMING.
He was still tired - over tired, but refused to go back to sleep.
He wouldn't stop screaming.
I was exhausted.
I was screaming.
I yelled at him "Sometimes I hate you!"
And then I burst into tears.
Because I don't. And I didn't mean it.
And I instantly wished I could take it back.

What I meant to say was, I hate the way you're behaving right now. Not I hate you. Never, I hate you.
I felt terrible. I still do.
I got him up and gave him breakfast and we snuggled and watched How to Train your Dragon. After a little while I asked him if he wanted to go back to sleep and he did.
We all went back to sleep.
But I still feel so bad.
And so, SO grateful that he is too young to ever remember what I said to him.

Have you said something you regretted to your child?

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Make Believe

Do you ever pretend you're not a mummy?
I've tried.
A couple of times. I was bad at it the first time, so I figured I'd try again.

I suck at it.
I can't comprehend how (or why) mother's can pretend they don't have a little person(s) at home that they love and are responsible for and who's lives they revolve around.
It doesn't seem natural.
I understand needing a break occasionally. God knows I do.
The last two weeks would have been hell if Pat wasn't here to help with both Dex and Dolores.

But would I ever pretend I don't have them? NO way.
They are what I was born to do.
I mean sure - there will be other things in my life as well, but nothing as important as them.
Why would I pretend they didn't exist?
Even just for a little bit?
It's like pretending you don't have a soul. Or are missing an arm. Painful and pointless.

If you want to pretend you don't have children, why did you have them in the first place?
I'm definitely not saying you should have your children in tow 24/7. That is just silly. You'd go insane.
Sometimes even going to the doctors is a welcome break here!
I won a $300 spa voucher and I'm planning on getting the 5 hour full treatment.
But will I pretend my kids don't exist? No way. They are the reason I deserve my treatment.

What do you think?
Do you pretend you don't have kids sometimes?

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Monday Must-Do's

  • Dex Daycare
  • Midwife - 11am
  • Centrelink 11:30am
  • Make Welsh cakes (this is the grandnanna's recipe of the week)
  • Stuff for Tina
  • Send stuff to Nat
  • Doctor for me
  • Stuff for Pam
  • Quilt to dry cleaner (they didn't clean it last time?!? the cat wee'd on it. We can tell it wasn't done!)
  • Stuff to Tupperware
  • Tafe application.

As you can see, we have a lot of "Stuff" laying around. HOPEFULLY that *stuff* won't still be on next Monday's must-do's!

What's on your list today?