I have a confession.
Right now, I feel like a terrible mother.
Which is better than how I felt this morning.
Right now, I'm sick. I have a staph infection - so I'm pretty run down. I have a newborn who loves feeding for two hours and then throwing it all up again, so she's hungry. But only does it at night. We also drove 2.5 hours home from Pat's dad's house, getting home at midnight.
It's still no excuse, but I thought I'd give you the background.
Miraculously, Dolores slept for a good 5 hour block last night, woke at 5:30am for a feed. Then Dex started SCREAMING.
He was still tired - over tired, but refused to go back to sleep.
He wouldn't stop screaming.
I was exhausted.
I was screaming.
I yelled at him "Sometimes I hate you!"
And then I burst into tears.
Because I don't. And I didn't mean it.
And I instantly wished I could take it back.
What I meant to say was, I hate the way you're behaving right now. Not I hate you. Never, I hate you.
I felt terrible. I still do.
I got him up and gave him breakfast and we snuggled and watched How to Train your Dragon. After a little while I asked him if he wanted to go back to sleep and he did.
We all went back to sleep.
But I still feel so bad.
And so, SO grateful that he is too young to ever remember what I said to him.
Have you said something you regretted to your child?