About Me

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23 year old going on 50. I take my carry basket to the farmers markets every week and Avoid getting a tan at all costs. I also have lots of tattoos. Two beautiful children and a "Hubby". And an obsession with cooking - moving into a place that doesn't have an oven...

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Surviving Motherhood - How I've done it

Sometimes I wonder how I've survived this far with (most) of my sanity in tact.
so here's how I've done it:
  • Take advantage of younger siblings who think they want children. Give them yours. (not forever). Babysitter for you and serious birth control for them - Win/win!
  • Cook more than you need. So then, when you're too lazy to cook something, you can pass it off as being organised when you pull a meal out of the freezer with "here's one I prepared earlier."
  • Spending lots of time at friends houses so mine doesn't get messed up. To pull this one off, you need to bring along baked goods. Trust me, it's worth it. Especially if said friend has a backyard the kids can play in, while yours is constantly damp and full of leeches. (thanks Belinda!)
  • Coffee. Lots and lots of coffee. Or so I'm told. I don't drink coffee. But I do eat copious amounts of chocolate and jelly beans. I figure I'll just use the sugar instead of the caffeine.
  • Playgroups - you can hand your feral child off for a couple of hours while you sit and watch someone else read them the same book for the hundredth time. This usually comes at the small cost of a piece of fruit - well worth it.
  • Hats. Bad hair day instantly gone. Need I say more?
  • Bribery. Don't looked shocked. Who doesn't do it? Luckily, my toddler gets really excited about the prospect of a roll from Baker's Delight, so I'm pretty safe for now. AND if he does get distracted while I do my lolly isle run, I can usually placate him with a box of tictacs. At home, it's bribery with frozen peas and corn. Cuz someone was VERY clever when they made those veggies look like little lollies.
  • Sex. Whenever I can get it. Why? Because I enjoy it. Because it makes me feel human. Because it says that there's more to life than singing the same song over and over again, or changing a poosplosion. Yes. Even when I'm really, really tired and the kids and sick and it feels like my eyelids are sandpapering my eyeballs. I'll sleep when the kids nap tomorrow.
  • Lying. No honey, there's no sushi. No, those are Grandad's donuts, he'll get cranky. No, the chocolate must be stuck in the machine. Yes, that is a biscuit. Yes that's chocolate. (really an olive).
But in all seriousness. My family - especially my little sisters pretty much jump at the chance to look after their nephew and niece. My friends who I can talk about anything to and who also know when nothing needs to be said.

And the biggest thing that has kept me sane?
Knowing I get to spend every day with him =]


  1. I 100% agree with every tip here... Apart from the sex one. I will definitely take that one on board though!

  2. Aaw, what a sweetheart.
    I take my hat off to mothers. I have been growing every more freaked out over the past few years as the time approaches where I will start trying to join you all in motherhood. Thankfully I've spent some time up close and personal with mums, babies and tots recently and have realised I don't need to be as scared as I was. Am looking forward to it now.
    But am past 30 so now am starting to worry about difficulties in getting preggers in the first place! (Sometimes I am my own worst enemy.)

  3. Gorgeous! I had goosebumps with the last line! I can relate to every point on here...particularly the one about coffee...mmmmm!

  4. I've heard you and Pat both pull out the old "Granddad ate all the donuts, sorry..." line whilst at the shop. I can't believe it works, but it totally does.

    Definitely put that one in my bag of tricks for the future... :)