so here's how I've done it:
- Take advantage of younger siblings who think they want children. Give them yours. (not forever). Babysitter for you and serious birth control for them - Win/win!
- Cook more than you need. So then, when you're too lazy to cook something, you can pass it off as being organised when you pull a meal out of the freezer with "here's one I prepared earlier."
- Spending lots of time at friends houses so mine doesn't get messed up. To pull this one off, you need to bring along baked goods. Trust me, it's worth it. Especially if said friend has a backyard the kids can play in, while yours is constantly damp and full of leeches. (thanks Belinda!)
- Coffee. Lots and lots of coffee. Or so I'm told. I don't drink coffee. But I do eat copious amounts of chocolate and jelly beans. I figure I'll just use the sugar instead of the caffeine.
- Playgroups - you can hand your feral child off for a couple of hours while you sit and watch someone else read them the same book for the hundredth time. This usually comes at the small cost of a piece of fruit - well worth it.
- Hats. Bad hair day instantly gone. Need I say more?
- Bribery. Don't looked shocked. Who doesn't do it? Luckily, my toddler gets really excited about the prospect of a roll from Baker's Delight, so I'm pretty safe for now. AND if he does get distracted while I do my lolly isle run, I can usually placate him with a box of tictacs. At home, it's bribery with frozen peas and corn. Cuz someone was VERY clever when they made those veggies look like little lollies.
- Sex. Whenever I can get it. Why? Because I enjoy it. Because it makes me feel human. Because it says that there's more to life than singing the same song over and over again, or changing a poosplosion. Yes. Even when I'm really, really tired and the kids and sick and it feels like my eyelids are sandpapering my eyeballs. I'll sleep when the kids nap tomorrow.
- Lying. No honey, there's no sushi. No, those are Grandad's donuts, he'll get cranky. No, the chocolate must be stuck in the machine. Yes, that is a biscuit. Yes that's chocolate. (really an olive).
And the biggest thing that has kept me sane?