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23 year old going on 50. I take my carry basket to the farmers markets every week and Avoid getting a tan at all costs. I also have lots of tattoos. Two beautiful children and a "Hubby". And an obsession with cooking - moving into a place that doesn't have an oven...

Monday, July 4, 2011

The Lies I Tell

We all tell little white lies. Usually, to the people we love the most. Usually so we don't hurt them. But sometimes, we just need to get them off our chest. So here I go:
The lies I tell him.
1. It's fine.
 It's not fine. It's never fine. I'm pretty sure everyone tells this lie. "It's nothing" comes under this as well.
When I say it's fine, I'm usually annoyed about something little, like he's playing the Playstation while I have one child strapped to me in the Hugabub and I'm trying to wrangle the other into his pyjamas and he deifinitely isn't cooperating. It doesn't matter that Pat has usually just finished cleaning the house if this is what's happening. My mind doesn't take that into account when it gets pissed off. I say "It's fine." because I don't want to argue about something stupid.
2. I don't mind.
This is usually about a number of things. From the movies we watch to him not being a fan marriage. I don't make a fuss about the movies because I'm pretty bad at picking movies - plus any movie we watch is us spending time together sans children, so why would I complain? (corny hey). There's also no point me complaining about him not being all for marriage, because nagging him about it will only make me seem like a terrible candidate for marriage anyway!
3. I'll be ok.
Usually said when he (very rarely) wants to go out and have a night out with friends. Sometimes he sleeps over so I don't have to get up with the kids in the middle of the night to pick a drunken Daddy up from god knows where. I say I'll be ok because I want him to go and have fun - he does so much around the place. He never even gets cranky if I come home with four pairs of shoes when I went to get groceries. So if I tell him I won't be ok, that my anxiety plays up as soon I don't know where he is/what he's doing, he wouldn't go. And I don't want to do that too him.
4. Who said you were getting lucky?
It's a bluff. He's irresistable.
5. I don't get jealous.
I do. Extremely so. Not because I think he'd ever do anything, but because along the way I've been told I don't deserve to be happy and I've come to think that maybe this person is right, deep down. I'm always expecting Pat to one day tell that he can do better and up and find someone funnier, prettier, who cooks better. Him not believing in marriage helps this insecurity. Stupid brain
Those are the only lies I tell him.

What do you lie about?

1 comment:

  1. Wow 4 posts in one day! You super mum you! I have missed reading your blog dearly, I do hope your Internet hurries itself up. I tell these same lies and you are one of my fav IPFs :)

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