Or at least well on my way to holding her in my arms.
Which is scary. Exciting. Thrilling. Nerve wracking. So many things in my "plan" could go wrong. It could completely not work.
I could go in for observation next week and they could tell me I'm not allowed to go home.
I could go for my reflexology only to have my body decide not to respond.
I could go to my reflexology and have it not happen as quickly as I planned it would, to go to my doctors appointment the next day and tell me they are inducing me.
I COULD go on and on about the different scenarios that may happen. But I'm not going to.
Instead, I'm going to say: When i go into labour, my sister Maddi, my mum Fiona and my partner Pat will be there with me to support me. My mum knows she will be kicked out if she says certain things to me (another blog topic entirely). My sister knows what to do as she was there for my first. And Pat - well he was good at making me laugh.
My little sister Michellie will be looking after Dex. My Dad will (hopefully) be looking after the Bowling Alley (check their website HERE).
I am well aware they may want to give me an epidural again because of my blood pressure. When I had Dex, I only had the initial blocker and that worked well. I plan on explaining this to them.
I am well aware I may feel like I need the gas again. And I am not opposed to this.
No one is going to give me a medal for having no pain relief. So I do not need to try and be a hero about it.
In the same token, if I don't feel I need/want it - I'm not going to have it just because it's there. I WOULD like to not have the gas - it was a weird feeling.
I think this time around I feel a lot more prepared. Prepared because I'm going to actively try and go into labour early, so I can experience it. I'm more calm about it. Dex's labour was 3.5 hours of confusion, not knowing what was happening or why and unsureness of what I was doing. I never had a chance to come to terms with the fact I was having a BABY - I couldn't get past the birth.
This time, I'm ready. Bring it on. I have wonderful support people. I have a realistic view. I have a gorgeous son who proves to me I've done it before, I can do it again.
(if anyone says these words to me in the labour ward - you're out!)