Out With the Old...

To all my followers, thank you.
I feel special having you guys with me.
I am, however going to stop using this blog. Because *drumroll*
I bought myself a domain name!

http://www.tattoomummy.com/

It's all a bit exciting!

And, I have a giveaway happening over there too, so I think you should definitely come and join me over there. Here's the link to my giveaway:

first post giveaway

Can't wait to see you all again

Letters to Dexter - 22 months

Dear Dexter,

You are 22 months old today.

We've jus started toilet training you. You are so clever. Although, you do say "farty" when you need to do a wee. We'll explain it to you one day.

You love your little sister. Whenever you're going to bed you're constantly calling out Love you Lola, love you Lola! You always try to give her kisses and cuddles and tell her to smile. You hold her hand and tell me to be careful with her. You are just so precious.

You love daycare and Mr. Dan. You get so happy when you are going there - you tell me all about Miss Annie, Miss Abbie, Miss Helen and Mr. Dan. You've made friends like Chad, Tahlia and Noah. There are other names too, but I can't quite pick them up when you tell me.

You still love hanging out with Grandad. You always want to be in his boat or his car or his tractor. You are constantly talking about how he is going in the car. "Grandad going car bowling, bowling car." that's what you tell me.

Your talking is so amazing. No one would believe you aren't even two yet.

I love you.

I love watching you grow. Sometimes you can be trying - as all toddlers can be. But you are so beautiful, smart, funny and gentle that I can't stay cranky at you for long.

Love Mummy

Internet Pen Friends.

I've missed blogging.

It's made me realise how much I rely on the world wide web for my friends.

I'm torn between feeling depressed about that and feeling glad that the internet has allowed me to continue building relationships with my friends and also develop new ones.

I think I'm leaning towards the feeling glad.

Not having the internet makes me feel as if I'm not able to recieve letters from penfriends that I'm used to recieving letters from every day.

It also makes me feel like I can't send my letters either.

I miss reading about other people's lives... As creepy as that sounds.

Reading other mummy blogs makes me laugh, cry and all in between. It is my time to sit down with a coffee and hear stories from friends that make me feel like I'm not alone. Stories about toilet training. Birth stories. Stories about children growing up. Reading foodie blogs inspire me in the kitchen. They are my time to sit down while I'm preparing dinner and make me think "oh, I could make that!" Reading stories about people's work day, that difficulties and triumphs of every day life - remind me that there is life beyond children. That I need to sometimes be more thoughtul of my friends who don't have kids.

Blogging opens up a whole window to friends all around the world (although I'm sure I don't have readers from outside Australia).

I don't even know what I'm trying to say really.

I guess the blogging world allows me to have coffee with the girls, every day of the week. We don't have to be in the same place, or the same time zone, or even the same country. They don't mind if my kids are being feral, or my house is a mess or I'm still in my p.j's.

Of course I'm not saying my real life friends aren't that wonderful as well. They are. My friends are the best I could ask for. they don't mind about feral kids or messes either. But one can nevr have too many friends, right?

Fitness Risotto

I'm three days into my fitness kick.

Can it be called a fitness kick yet? Is it a hobby? A faze? What's it called after only three days?

A start. That's what I'll call it.

I was planning on joining the gym, but I haven't even managed to get the meeting to join! So I decided to make the most of what I've got. Which is a lot easier than I thought it would be. We have one of those home gym thingos in the shed. We also have a Wii Fit. So far I've done an hour 1:15 on Thursday on the Wii and 60 reps of chest press, arm pull downs and 40 leg lifts (my legs are weak). Same on Saturday.

It's made a difference. I can feel it. I'm more patient, more enegetic. I feel better about myself and hold myself better. I actually want to excersize.

Which is surprising. I'm uhh...

 Lazy.

Won't even try to sugarcoat it. Why bother? It won't help me at all. It's not going to help me be the mum running around with her kids at the park. It's not going to improve my blood pressure...

So I'm going to stop lying to myself.

And I hope that I keep this up. I'm sure I can, because it's all done at home. I don't need to go anywhere or pay any money to do it.

So now I just need some healthy recipes to go with my excersize.

Here's a favourite risotto recipe. (Risotto is healthy, right?)

base recipe found at bestrecipes.com

Ingredients:

·         30g butter.

·         1 onion chopped

·         3 cups stock

·         1 cup aborio rice

·         1/3 cup grated parmesan cheese

In a large deep sided microwave dish (I used my Tupperware Ultra Pro - I haven't done a plug in AGES and this product is amazing - google it) melt butter on high for 45 seconds. did I mention this is a microwave recipe?

Stir in onion and cook on high, uncovered for 2 minutes.

Add rice and mix in until well coated with butter. Cook on high for 1 minute.

Add stock and cook on high, uncovered for 10 minutes. Stir well.

Cook on high uncovered for another 8 minutes.

Remove from microwave and stir in parmesan cheese and season with pepper if desired. Let stand 5 minutes before serving.

To this recipe I added a very ripe avocado, chopped and mixed into the risotto so it's almost mashed in, and four cooked chicken thighs chopped up. Amazing.

The recipe says that it only feeds 2 people, but I think it would easily feed four.

I'm going to attempt a chicken and mushroom version today, will let you know how I go.

(Seriously though, IS risotto healthy?)

The Lies I Tell

We all tell little white lies. Usually, to the people we love the most. Usually so we don't hurt them. But sometimes, we just need to get them off our chest. So here I go:

The lies I tell him.

1. It's fine.

 It's not fine. It's never fine. I'm pretty sure everyone tells this lie. "It's nothing" comes under this as well.

When I say it's fine, I'm usually annoyed about something little, like he's playing the Playstation while I have one child strapped to me in the Hugabub and I'm trying to wrangle the other into his pyjamas and he deifinitely isn't cooperating. It doesn't matter that Pat has usually just finished cleaning the house if this is what's happening. My mind doesn't take that into account when it gets pissed off. I say "It's fine." because I don't want to argue about something stupid.

2. I don't mind.

This is usually about a number of things. From the movies we watch to him not being a fan marriage. I don't make a fuss about the movies because I'm pretty bad at picking movies - plus any movie we watch is us spending time together sans children, so why would I complain? (corny hey). There's also no point me complaining about him not being all for marriage, because nagging him about it will only make me seem like a terrible candidate for marriage anyway!

3. I'll be ok.

Usually said when he (very rarely) wants to go out and have a night out with friends. Sometimes he sleeps over so I don't have to get up with the kids in the middle of the night to pick a drunken Daddy up from god knows where. I say I'll be ok because I want him to go and have fun - he does so much around the place. He never even gets cranky if I come home with four pairs of shoes when I went to get groceries. So if I tell him I won't be ok, that my anxiety plays up as soon I don't know where he is/what he's doing, he wouldn't go. And I don't want to do that too him.

4. Who said you were getting lucky?

It's a bluff. He's irresistable.

5. I don't get jealous.

I do. Extremely so. Not because I think he'd ever do anything, but because along the way I've been told I don't deserve to be happy and I've come to think that maybe this person is right, deep down. I'm always expecting Pat to one day tell that he can do better and up and find someone funnier, prettier, who cooks better. Him not believing in marriage helps this insecurity. Stupid brain

Those are the only lies I tell him.

What do you lie about?

Someone Else's Story

I have a tragedy that I am unfortunate enough to be a part of. It isn't even one of those comedy sort of tragedies so you can feel good along the way. It is just plain sad.
It makes me heart feel squished and my throat hurt.
But it's not my story to tell. So instead, I'll tell you about one of the main characters.

She is brilliant. An inspiration.
She is beautiful in a way she doesn't see.
She gives the best hugs in the world.
She would give you her last $5 if you needed it. Even if she needed it more.
She works really, really hard. I'm talking 14 hour days 7 days a week.
She loves her children a lot.
She loves her husband a lot too.
She never has any objections to you calling five times a day just to chat, or because you are lonely. She'll talk if she can.
She gets up every morning to trudge off to work, where sometimes she's yelled at and occasionally sworn at. All with a smile on her face.
She has a wonderful smile that lights up her eyes.
She is a wonderful mother.
She is MY mother.

And I love her very much.

The Bottom Line

Budgets scare me. I know. silly, considering my blog name is Bubs Under Budget. I guess I never had a problem with my $50 budget, because I always knew I could go over. It wasn't a big deal if I did.
A little challenge for me, that wasn't that big a deal if I didn't do it one week. They scare me because they are so black and white. Or black and red, as it may be. It is so in your face about where you lack self control to not spend you money. Or maybe that's just how I see it?

The thing is, I know my weakness. Ironically, (remember the 50 budget) it's grocery shopping. I LOVE wandering the isles, imagining up all sorts of foods I could create for lunches and dinners and snacks. Which wouldn't be a problem... IF we hadn't moved into my parent's house to save money and pay off debt. Sooooo while I guess I have the money to wander the isles, I definitely shouldn't.

If I don't wander the isles, I can avoid the confectionery one. Full of tempting chocolatey goodness, musk stick sweetness and guilt reducing health and fitness magazines at the other end. I could avoid the baking isle so I don't pick up chocolate chips just in case I feel like baking. Or cake mixes because they are on special.

Look at that. I'm avoiding my budget and I don't even have my wallet on me!
So, the deal is (without being to specific) we have about $33,000 debt. $27,000 of that, I'm ok with. ($24,000 being a car with 2.9% interest that will be paid off in 4 years and $3000 of that being 50 months interest free, which will obviously be paid off during that time.)
The $6000,  I'm not ok with. Because there is no reason we should have it... Credit cards.
They seem like such a good idea at the time, but it's just a big trap. Even if you get one just in case. It never ends up being just in case. There'll be a situation that you don't have the money on you, so it goes on the card. And there it starts.
ANY WAY.
So, we've done all the maths. We've written down what is incoming and outgoing.
And you know what? I think when you have less money, you spend less money. That's how it seems to work with us anyway.

If we have some extra money, it's as if we feel we can relax a little bit, which in turn has us spending extra, so that we end up dipping into the usual money that's already allocated. (made possible by said credit card).

Fingers crossed we stick to our budget this time. I want to have our savings for a house.

Do you have a budget? Do you struggle to stick to it??

And yes, I realise it's a little bit sad that grocery shopping is the thing I usually struggle to contain my spending on. I enjoy cooking, ok?